What i learned after 11 years of journaling

Hello everyone! I hope you're doing well. Today I want to talk about how I got back into journaling and my experiences over the past decade. If you've been a follower of this channel for a long time, you probably realize that I haven't been posting much about journals and journaling in the last couple of years. 

It's because I haven't been writing much and using journals as often. I just felt a slump; I didn't feel creative, and I took a little bit of a break. I journaled sporadically here and there, but I kind of lost my passion for journaling and making YouTube videos.

Reconnecting with Journaling

For me, the start of a new year means the start of a new journal. At least, that's how it's always been since I was 13 years old. I don't feel old enough to say that I've done anything for a decade, but here we are, opening up yet another book that'll be by my side for the next 365 days. 

I started keeping a journal in January of 2014 with the intention of filling it up to the last page by December 31st. I'll tell you right now, that didn't happen. I probably left a good 50 pages or so blank at the back. You might say this is wasteful. After all, my young teenage self decided to splurge on this fabric-lined, button-clasp, gold-edged notebook, and I didn't even get to the end. Well, in my defense, I did fill most of it up.

The Early Days of Journaling

This was kind of a monumental year for me. I graduated middle school and started my freshman year of high school. It was a coming-of-age moment. Sorry if I didn't have time to jot every single thing down, but over the years, I got a bit better at keeping things up. I didn't journal every single day, and I still don't. 

There are some months where I have a good streak going and other months where I check in just once, like "Oh right, here's all the stuff that's been going on since I last wrote."

Experimenting with Different Journals

I experimented with different notebook forms: lined paper, blank paper, grid paper. This year, I'm trying out dotted paper for the first time. Riveting stuff, right? I also tested out different brands and even tried splitting the year up into three smaller journals, documenting four months of the year each. 

One year, I used a plain old composition notebook that was supposed to be my grade 12 chemistry lab notebook. I dropped the class, so free journal, right? Well, I hated writing in this notebook because honestly, it's ugly and wasn't intentionally chosen. After that, I stopped feeling bad about splurging once a year on a pretty notebook. If you're going to carry something around with you for an entire year, you should probably make sure you like it.

Reflecting on the Past

Well, how important can the life of a 13 or 14-year-old really be? All I did was go to school, come home, and be full of angst. Does that make quality literature? I don't know. Most of these journals are filled with day-to-day dread, to-do lists, or brain dumps of all the things that were going on or worrying me. 

On the first day of high school, I drew a map of the school in my journal with my classrooms marked so I wouldn't get lost. Sometimes I would write out homework answers in my journal instead of on scrap paper. It's not very meaningful to me now, but it was at that point. It's nice to open up these books and rediscover the little mundane parts of my life at the time, not knowing what was to come.

Journaling Significant Moments

In the grand scheme of things, other parts were not so mundane. I documented events and developments with friends, family, relationships, and even enemies. The more time passes, the more I love reading back on these parts and seeing how my life has changed with the people around me. 

There are some names in my journal from 10 years ago that still appear in my journal today. There are others who come and go, some whose entire presence in my life from start to finish are documented within these pages. In my earlier journals, sometimes I would refer to people by initials instead of full names because, you know, artsy or whatever.

The Bittersweetness of Journaling

One of the most bittersweet things I find happening when I go back to reread these journals is that sometimes an entire entry is written about someone so important to me, someone affecting my life so deeply, someone who was taking up every waking moment of my life at the time, and now I don't even know who those initials belong to. Is that crazy? I don't know. It's kind of sad but also kind of nice. Eventually, things will all pass, even the bad stuff. That's how I like to see it anyway.

Lingering Struggles

Then again, it can also kind of suck. There are things I struggled with at 14 that I still struggled with at 18 and that I still struggle with today. There's younger me writing to a future self, hoping that they're in a better place. There's me in the present, reading past me's struggles and thinking, "Wow, I'm really glad I can't go back and talk to her because I don't know what I would say." I have answers to some things, but I guess other things take longer than 10 years to figure out.

The Power of Journaling

Like most people, I have lots of pictures and videos from throughout the years too. Videos can never really capture how you were feeling or what you were thinking in that moment, no matter how much you try to remember. The act of recollection itself changes the memory. In my journals, though, I can go back to exactly what I was thinking with the knowledge I had at the time. Reading how I felt, what I thought, and what stood out to me. Even though my memory of the moment may be different, I can look through the eyes of my past self to really understand these different periods of my life.

Journaling the Good Moments

Journaling can obviously be very therapeutic, but I've noticed that a lot of journal entries happen when I'm upset, angry, sad, or alone and working through something negative. It's not like I pull out my journal in the middle of the club when I'm having a great time, you know? Sometimes when I forget to journal for a while, it might actually be a good thing since I'm out there living life and don't have too much bothering me. 

But recently, after years and years of writing, I've noticed that some of my favorite entries to reread are the ones that reflect on the good moments, the ones that recount and cherish how happy, excited, loved, and grateful I feel about something in my life at the time. Sure, I might have pictures or videos of these moments too, but I might not remember the little details of the day, the little moments that really make things memorable. 

Something might have happened since then that would forever change my memory of that moment. So I've been trying harder to write down the good moments too, not just the bad ones.

The Purpose of Journaling

I don't really know what these journals are for. I just started it one day, and now I'm here. It feels like I'm writing a memoir in real time, covering what could be considered the last year of my childhood, my entire experience through high school, university, and now beyond. I'm sure there might be other uses for it in the future that I can't even think of. 

But for now, it's for me. It's for sometimes analyzing and other times romanticizing my life. I don't see a reason why I would ever stop.

A Decade of Journaling

So here's to a decade of writing, a decade of talking to myself, a decade of committing to understanding myself. Also, a decade of committing to the artsy, Tumblr-girly bit and absolutely refusing to go digital. Every year is literally a new chapter, but this one's just a little bit special in my books.

LeStallion Journals

If you're looking for a quality journal to accompany you through your journaling journey, I highly recommend LeStallion journals. They offer a variety of options that cater to different journaling styles and preferences. 

Whether you prefer lined, blank, or dotted pages, LeStallion has a journal for you. Their notebooks are made with high-quality materials, ensuring durability and a pleasant writing experience. Plus, they come in beautiful designs that make journaling even more enjoyable. 

If you're going to carry something around with you for an entire year, you should make sure you like it, and LeStallion writing journals are a perfect choice for that.

Conclusion

If you've been struggling with journaling and want to share your experience, please feel free to leave me a comment. I'm sure there are more people out there who want to get into journaling or back into journaling and don't know how to go about it. I'm sure all of you have great advice to give, so feel free to share in the comments. 

If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment. If you enjoyed this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you want to see more notebook videos, subscribe to my channel. Thank you so much for watching!